Resentment
by I was born frustrated
Summary: UP FOR ADOPTION! If you want it, let me know!
1. Chapter 1

**I know some people may be a little ticked at my decision to redo this story, but I really think that this version is way better and more thought out. I wanted to give you Bella's background and what led up to her change into a vampire and her change of attitude.**

* * *

><p><strong>Summary: Edward left Bella in New Moon. She doesn't get close to Jake and never jumps off the cliff. She is changed into a vampire. Eighty years later, she runs into the Cullens where it all began. Bella is now a loner and very resentful. She doesn't trust or forgive easily and her past is part of that. Will Edward be able to break through her misery?<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter one: wholehole**

**Bella's point of view:**

**{Whole}**

Pain. Self-pity. Some numbness here and there. That is all I feel right now. That is all I have felt for the past three weeks.

_This sucks!_

I felt like one of those clichéd girls from 80's movies who were just dumped. That _is_ what happened, but why must I wallow? Oh, yeah… I was dumped! I threw my head into my pillow and tried to stifle the sob pushing through my lips. All I have been thinking since he left me is, '_why me?'_ It was pathetic but I didn't care.

I was in the middle of turning from my stomach to my side - the first movement I have made in well over twenty minutes - when the door to my room flew open. I blinked my eyes rapidly at the intrusion of light into my room - or cave, as my father has so nicely been referring to it as. Once my eyes adjusted to the bright lights, I noticed the figure standing before me.

"Mom?" My voice was hoarse from lack of use and endless crying.

_When the heck did my mom get here? _

She said nothing as she marched over to the foot of my bed. It was then that I noticed her livid expression, the square of her shoulders, her clenched fists, her heavy breathing. I had never once seen my mother this angry. She was always so happy and care-free. There was never a worry in her mind. So, seeing her like this frightened the heck out of me. I sat up as quickly as my sore muscles would allow and looked at her warily.

"Mom, what are you do-" my question was cut off by my blanket being dragged from me. The blanket was wrapped so tightly around my body that I ended up falling on the floor as it she unwrapped it. I landed with a quiet 'oomph.'

_What the heck is wrong with her?_

I looked up from my spot on the floor and opened my mouth to ask her what her problem was but she cut me off.

"Isabella Marie Swan!" Her voice sent chills down my spine. She has _never_ used my full name like that. I was seriously thinking that she was going ballistic and was about to beat the crap out of me.

"What is wrong with you? You have your poor father, downstairs, worried sick! Do you want to give him a heart attack? Hmm?" I opened my mouth to reply, but she didn't give me the time. "I know you are upset, baby, but this is ridiculous! Oh my…" She looked away from me and started pacing. She stopped in front of my window and wrenched the blinds completely off the window ledge. I had to look away from the bright light shining directly at me.

_Oh, so it is daytime… _

The days tend to mold together when you barely leave your room.

_It was days like this that Edward would be out hunting with his family. His beautiful skin shimmering in the sunlight…_

I was brought out of my inner musings by sharp pains going through my arms. It was then that I noticed my mother had forcefully pulled me off of the floor, her fingernails digging into my upper arms. She brought my face close to hers and just let me have it.

_Bad._

"Are you going to let a little BOY define your life, Isabella? Did I really raise you that way? I thought you grew up to be a strong and independent young lady… girl, you have proved me wrong! This is heartbreaking, Bella, HEARTBREAKING! You can only wallow for so long before that becomes your whole life! Do you want to still feel this way in a year from now?" Her last question was less of a yell and more of a whimper, as she set me down on my bed.

I couldn't help the sobs leaving me as I buried my face in my hands. She is right! I have let Edward define my life. It's like I am nothing without him. I most certainly do not want to feel this way a year from now - hell; I don't want to feel this way a week from now. The pain is too unbearable.

I looked back up at my mother's towering figure. She looked down at me with her arms crossed and I realized that she wanted an answer. I sniffled and shook my head no. No I didn't. I wanted to get better. I wanted to have a life for myself that didn't include a terrible gaping hole in my chest that used to belong to the Cullens. I wanted it to heal. I spoke up this time as I shook my head with fervor.

"No, Mom. I don't. I w-want t-to be bett-e-er." My voice hiccupped with sobs making it difficult to speak, but I could tell that she understood. Her anger faded as she took a seat next to me, pulling me into her arms. She smoothed my hair as she spoke.

"I want you to feel better, too, Bella. So does Charlie. We can't stand you being this way. I know you feel betrayed and you are hurt, but that is no reason to just stop living. This isn't the end of the world and you _will _move on. It may seem impossible right now, but eventually you will get better. That isn't going to happen if you don't get the hell off your ass and try!" She squeezed me once more before pulling away from me and looking me straight in the eyes.

"I came here to take you home with me, but I don't think that would be for the best. You need to face your issues. Your father tells me that you don't even listen to music anymore and I know why you are doing that. You don't want to be reminded of him. I get it but, honey that is just no way to go about things." Never have I ever seen my mother actually sound and act like a _mother_.

She was guiding me, taking care of me instead of the other way around. This thought brought on another round of sobs. She waited patiently until they subsided. I knew she was right. This _was_ ridiculous. I was letting one person force my life onto a harmful track. I couldn't continue this, but I didn't know how to stop it. I voiced this to my ever patient mother. She smiled and listened to every word, even the ones I had to choke out.

"How? How am I supposed to fix this, Mom? I feel like I am already too far gone into this… This _depression_." It dawned on me then. There was no other explanation to this. I was in a depression. I struggled to focus back on my mother as she whispered words of encouragement into my ear while running her fingers through my hair, trying her best to comfort me. I was all too surprised to see that it was beginning to work.

"It hurts so much, Mommy." I cried into her shoulder.

I could practically feel the joy surrounding her at the word I used to address her. I haven't called her that since I was… five, I think? It felt nice to depend on her. But that wasn't what she was here trying to get me to do. She was trying to tell me that I shouldn't depend on anyone, I should be independent. I will. I just need a little help. I need a little push to get me started.

"Bella, Charlie and I have arranged for you to start seeing a therapist. I hear they can really help, but you need to agree to this since you are legally an adult that _should_ be able to take care of herself."

I didn't miss the meaning in her words. I should be able to take care of myself. I nodded my head enthusiastically and offered her a smile, which most likely came out as more of a grimace.

I am on my way. This is just the first step to healing. I would heal. I would be whole again.

[.][.][.][.][.][.][.][.][.]

Another three weeks have gone by. My mother's little visit showed me a new way of living. She showed me that I didn't need Edward. It didn't even hurt to think his name anymore. For that, I was grateful, since everything still brought up memories of him.

Everything was day by day, but I was making progress. Having an unbiased party to explain my feelings to was wonderful. My therapist, Tracey, was wonderful. Sure she got paid for our conversations, but that didn't mean she didn't help. She listened, she offered suggestions and she helped. I see her two times a week and I treasure every session, because at the end, the hole in my chest closes that much more.

It is an amazing feeling to know that tomorrow is full of hope and possibilities instead of sadness and despair. I don't think of tomorrow as another day without the love of my life, no, I think of it as another day of healing and getting better. It is so much more satisfying than lying in my bed - I had to burn the sheets from lack of washing - and wallowing.

No more wallowing for this girl. Just living. Edward isn't coming back. That still hurts to think or say, but it gets easier. I need to realize that I can't wait for him to never come back. That is absolutely no way to live.

I have learned and I am moving forward.

[.][.][.][.][.][.][.][.]

Graduation day.

Today I leave high school. I have no plans of going to college… yet. I am taking the year off to grow more into my newfound Bella-ness. As much sense as that doesn't make, it still sounds right.

I am the same Bella as I was before, only now, I am more independent. I can take care of my own emotional baggage. I don't go to anyone else for help with that. I stopped seeing my therapist because I knew that her help was no longer a necessity and she whole-heartedly agreed.

_'Bella, you have made so much progress and you have absolutely no one but yourself to be thankful to. All I did was listen and offer some advice. Everything else was all you. You have healed and you can move on.' _

Her parting words to me will forever be embedded in my memory. I can move on. I have moved on. Though, I know that part of me will always feel something for the Cullens, I will never let it handicap me like it did. It is all a distant memory.

So on this day of my graduation, I say a loud 'good riddance' to the old Bella and a heartfelt 'where the hell have you been' to the new Bella. Old Bella has been tucked away to the back of my mind where she is out of my reach. She is out of anyone's reach, actually.

I am healed.

[.][.][.][.][.][.][.]

**{Hole}**

Riding fast, the wind in my hair, at least the hair that is not tucked under my helmet. This is the life, really! I have acquired a taste for motorcycles in the past year. It is exhilarating. It is daring. It is… freeing. It is just what I need.

I am on my way home from my job at the Forks library. You'd think that that place would be peaceful, and that was why I took the job in the first place but, boy was I wrong!

All these little children come in and play on the elevator and yell and leave books lying all over the floor. It is frustrating as all hell but somebody has to do it. I decided to take on that burden. I needed the money anyhow. I didn't want to continue to mooch off my father. I mean, really, I am closer to twenty than I am to eighteen. It is time to leave the nest and spread my wings and all that jazz.

I pulled into my driveway and noticed my father's police cruiser. But there was another one there as well.

_Odd. Charlie usually isn't one for company._

I hopped off my bike and tucked my helmet under my arm.

"Dad?" I called, as I walked through the front door. All the lights in the house were turned out.

_He couldn't be sleeping already?_

I walked to the light switch located under the coat rack that hangs next to the door. I flipped it a few times but had no result.

_Hmm. Did Dad not pay the bill?_

"Dad?" I tried again. Still, there was no answer.

"Charlie?" I called, now feeling a little uneasy.

The house is eerily calm. I stepped into the kitchen, hoping to find a working light or even a candle. My shoes stepped in something like a puddle.

_What the hell?_

All in one second, the lights had snapped back on, like after a storm has died out. I started to look around. I didn't feel safe. Something wasn't right. I could feel the panic in me coming off in waves and bouncing off the walls just to hit me again. I swallowed thickly and looked down. My once white tennis shoes were now smeared with a thick red. My eyes widened when it clicked in my head.

_Blood. Lots and lots of blood._

The blood covered a good part of the kitchen floor and was smeared on the furniture and appliances.

_Oh, God! _

I walked through the kitchen, scared at what I might find. There was a laugh behind me. I turned around quickly and nearly doubled over in pain at what I saw. There, standing in front of me looking even more deranged than the last time I saw her, was Victoria. She wasn't what had my stomach in knots though. What had me gasping for breaths and clutching at my chest was what - no - who she was holding her hands.

_Charlie. Dad._

She held his pale lifeless body by the arm as she laughed. One question loomed over my head.

_Why wasn't she attacking the blood?_

I looked pointedly at the splattered life of my father that lay all over the kitchen. I heard a thump and noticed that she had dropped my father to the floor. She stepped over his body, never taking her eyes from me.

"Oh, Isabella. Don't be upset with me. I am not the one who killed your daddy." She laughed at my tortured expression but continued on.

"I believe you know them as Leo and Adam. Your father's coworkers."

_Leo and Adam? Why would they do this? _

"Go ahead and cry. They will be the last tears you shall ever shed. And also, if you are wondering why those men killed your father, it was because I paid them. Of course, I drained them before they could cash in their checks." She laughed. "You can't trust people nowadays!" She stood directly in front of me.

_They killed my dad for money?_

I was horrified. Why would they do that? I never knew them to be so… so…God; I can't even come up with the right word for it. I tried to keep my eyes away from my father. I couldn't see him like this. It was too painful. I looked into the dark red eyes of Victoria. She just smiled her sick and twisted smile.

"It was genius, really. Getting those men to off your father this morning." She looked to be deep in thought, the smile never fading.

"I had them come as soon as you left for work. I wanted to take someone that you loved away from you like you did to me. And since - Edward was it? Yes, I believe so - decided that he was fed up with you, I couldn't kill him. What would be the point? You don't get to see him either way. So I had them kill your dad, make it bloody so you would be ten times more horrified, but then I had them mix bleach in with the blood, so I wouldn't be so tempted. I wanted to make sure I had enough room to thoroughly enjoy you." Her words were making me ill.

I was so close to exploding with vomit at this point. I couldn't hear anymore of this. I tuned her out completely and doubled over. She was still speaking, but I couldn't hear it. I couldn't hear a damn thing. All that registered was the disgusting liquid leaving my mouth. The smells of the room, her words, everything was weighing down on me and it all came out.

I vaguely remember being lifted up into cold arms and carried into the equally cold night.

[.][.][.][.][.][.][.]

"Wake up, sleepy head," a melodic voice sang in my ear. The voice sounded familiar.

Who was it? Then I remembered what had happened. Through the tired haze of my mind came terrible memories. Recent memories.

_Blood. Victoria. Charlie… oh, no! Charlie._

I rolled off of my back and onto my side, crying, sobbing and hiccupping. _Please let that be a nightmare. It didn't really happen. Please? Please? Please… _

"Oh, stop your whining child. We are going to have so much fun!" she clapped her hands together.

Fun? No, this wasn't fun. I tried tuning everything out.

Hours passed and we were still having _fun. _It seems her idea of fun includes burning my skin away with a lighter, throwing matches on my chest, slicing away my skin with her fingernails and beating me with sticks. I was a bloody pulp seconds into this _fun. _I was surprised by the amount of restraint she showed.

I pleaded with her to stop and just kill me. Her only responses were, "You can thank your little Edward." or "It's their fault." Everything she said clicked with me. I agreed. I wouldn't be in this mess had I never met them. Or if he would have just stayed with me. I wouldn't be in this mess if he hadn't left me unprotected. Was I so insignificant to them that they would leave me here to this torture?

Alice had to of seen this. But they didn't show. I was in the middle of blacking in and out of consciousness when Victoria leaned in close to my ear.

"You will live alone forever, just like I have to." Her words were spat at me through gritted teeth.

She sunk her razor sharp teeth into the exact same place James had all that time ago.

Then there was pain.

_The Cullen's fault._

Was my last thought before the pain swallowed me whole.

* * *

><p><strong>Please review and share your thoughts. Reviews are inspiration. <strong>

**I am having some serious mental block. I try to write shit down and it comes out… bad. I am trying though.**

**Short but it explains why Bella is the way she is. Next chapter is when things really start, so stay with me!**


	2. the volturi years

**Chapter Two: The Volturi Years**

**Bella's point of view:**

There is only so much one girl can take before she explodes. When I say 'explode' I mean full on lose it on every unlucky person to cross my path. I hate it here. Joining the Volturi Guard was one of the most idiotic decisions I have ever been forced to make.

I can't even lie, if I had the choice all those years ago when they _asked_ me to join them, I would have probably said yes. Where else could I have gone? I had no one, nothing. I was new to this life and I had absolutely no clue what to do with myself. That day the Volturi found me wandering a deserted highway sealed my destiny… fate? Whatever. It fudged everything up.

I still remember the conflicting emotions flowing through me and everything else that led up to the Volturi _offering_ me a position on the Guard instead of just killing me like they had originally planned.

_Flashback: Ten years ago_

_They had me cornered. _

_The large man held up his hands in a way of showing peace. I knew better than to trust him - them. There were four of them - two men, one boy and one girl, all equally frightening but in their own ways. The largest man was full of intimidating muscle and towered over me by at least two feet. The other man was equal in muscle but near the same height as me. Then there was the two that frightened me the most. They were small, both looking around their early teens. They had matching features, angelic beauty, short blond hair and smiles that spread across their whole faces, showing every sharp tooth in their mouths. What they all had in common was their eyes. Each of them had a pair of vibrant red eyes with mischief lurking under the surface. _

_I crouched lower into the ground, hoping to disappear. The small girl took a step toward me, her shrill voice cut through the tense air. _

_"You are not who we were sent to kill, but you will do. Before we do that, would you like to tell me where the vampire is that has caused the nearest city all those savage deaths?" _

_I couldn't help but cringe away from her. Her voice was so childlike but held so much authority, it was unnerving. Not to mention that mile wide demon smile she was currently sporting. _

_I thought about what she just said about the deaths in the nearest town. I am not sure at all what town I am in, just that I am very far away from civilization. There was only one vampire that came to mind and that was Victoria, but she was long gone. I have no clue where she took off to. When the pain finally stopped from my transformation and I wasn't so dazed and confused, I noticed I was alone. There was no trace of Victoria anywhere, not that I had any desire to seek her out. I guess she meant it when she said her plan for me was to live alone forever. _

_Thinking about her brought on some rather… difficult and disturbing memories that I have been desperately trying to keep stored away in my mind. I could faintly hear voices speaking to me; more like _at_ me but was too consumed by the sick images that were assaulting me. Each one was like a knife to my dead heart. _

_Blood, Charlie's blood, Victoria holding up my dead father, Victoria burning off my flesh with a lighter, throwing matches at me, biting me. I remembered every little thing she said. _

_'You can thank your little Edward.'_

_'It's their fault.' _

_'You will live alone forever…' _

_It was all too much for one week - for a lifetime! I could feel my body start to shake, growls and cries erupted from me. I was vaguely aware of a tingling sensation running all over my body. It didn't hurt, but it was uncomfortable and was pissing me the hell off. _

_I wanted it to stop. Why wouldn't it just stop and let me grieve for my fallen father? _

_I opened my eyes, not even realizing that I had closed them. I saw four vampires surrounding me; closing in. There wasn't one side of me that wasn't covered. There was nothing to do, nothing to say. I wanted to die. I couldn't live this long life by myself, grieving for everything that I have lost. Then I looked to the seemingly fragile girl standing directly in front of me. She no longer held that creepy smile. In its place was a concentrating grimace, her teeth clenched. I don't know how I knew but I did. I knew that she was the one causing the tingles to overtake my body. _

_For the first time in my life, I felt hate. I hated her. I hated them all. Everyone. There wasn't one existing person other than my mother that I didn't hate right now. Every other emotion, love, fear… was pushed away. The hate was all consuming. It burned me. _

_Everything that has happened to me, from the love of my life leaving me with no protection to all that Victoria did exploded in my veins, covering my vision with a thick gray haze. _

_I could see dark figures, but they were nameless and faceless. I could hear a low rumble that was muffled by some kind of barrier that was around my body. _

_The dark figures, all at once, jumped at me. I didn't know what to do. I just crouched low to the ground and grabbed at my hair, willing them away. I wanted to die but not like this. I wanted, for once in my life, to be in control of what happened to me. All these wants, all these fears flew out of me - literally. I felt all the weight on my shoulders lift and fly out at my offenders. The haze lifted in time for me to see all four vampires airborne. _

_They were knocked away from me by a now fading black mist like bubble. My eyes widened as the black bubble snapped back in my direction. _

_I quickly closed my eyes and huddled into myself. It hit me like a ton of bricks, knocking me on my back. I opened my eyes and noticed black sparks shooting out of my fingertips. They slowly died down and all that was left of it was a gray charcoal like substance under my fingernails and on the pads of my fingers. _

I did that?

_That was all I could think as I felt myself being lifted from the ground and carried away. I was so lost and physically exhausted that I did nothing to stop them. _

I did that.

_End of flashback_

That brings me here. Ten years later. Once they got me to the Volturi castle, Aro had continuously insisted that I join the Guard. I thought about it as he told me of all the perks. He didn't name one downside. I ate up every word that left his deceiving mouth. How could I not? It sounded great. I didn't have to be alone; I didn't have to be scared anymore. He said he would help me control my power.

He did, but it was all for his benefit. I didn't realize it at the time, but my life was to be as a servant. At least that is how I see it. I do his bidding and nothing else. I would rather be alone. This place was like a prison, I was hardened. All the values I was taught growing up were thrown out the window.

I am rude, mean and worst of all, a murderer. I have killed countless people; their faces are permanently etched into my perfect mind. Ten years ago, five years ago, even one year ago, I wouldn't have made it out of the Volturi alive. Now, I have control over my power… unless my emotions become too much, then it just sort of pops out of me like a fucking Pop Tart out of a toaster… either way, I know how to make it protect me whenever I need it. It is a pretty handy power to have.

Anyway, I can get out of here without being set on fire and I plan to take advantage of that. In just a few moments, I make a break for it. I am currently seated in the throne room, waiting for Heidi to bring in the unlucky travelers for our 'dinner'. Where is the chase in that?

Okay, don't think about the chase, think about freedom. Think about Charlie. Think about Renée.

I took a deep breath as the doors slowly opened, revealing a tightly clad Heidi and about twenty poor and confused humans behind her. I pitied them. Their fate was gruesome, I should know. The best time to get out of here would be when everyone was busy feeding; all of their instincts would be focused on the kill. Sure they would most definitely notice me, but they would be too late.

Freedom was mine and it was only a few seconds away.

I watched as the humans all piled into the room. I watched as they were led into false security. I watched as realization and fear took over their features. I didn't watch as it went down.

I took my chance and bolted, heaving my shield all around my body. The bad thing about my shield is that even when I am in control of it a gray haze takes over my eyes and invisible earmuffs cover my ears. But I knew I had this. I knew every twist and turn of the castle and I knew where I was going. I even knew that a few vampires had followed me.

I threw out my shield and knocked them all away, picking up speed. They wouldn't take my freedom away from me. It was mine, no matter how little I deserved it now. I know this won't be my last encounter with the Volturi, but I don't care. I want as normal a life as I can have.

Like the _Cullen's _have.

I want to feed off animals not humans.

I would have it.

* * *

><p><strong>Very short but now you see what her power is. Next chapter I will bring in the Cullen's and shit can really start to hit the fan. Please review? They honestly do help.<strong>


	3. forks

**Sorry this took so long!**

**This chapter shows how Bella has changed and become a different person over the years.**

**Okay, so, for the people who read the previous version of this story, I should warn you. This chapter is the same one that was the very first chapter of the other version. (Slight changes and add-ons). **

**It was one of the few that I liked, so I kept it. I think you should read it anyway.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Three: Forks <strong>

**Bella's point of view:**

It has been another seventy years, I believe, since I escaped the Volturi. I have had a few run-ins with a few of the Guard, but none of them have lived to tell the tale. I have almost perfected my control on my shield. I still lose control of it sometimes when my emotions get too crazy. That doesn't happen much, though.

Now, all these years later, I am living the life I wanted. I wouldn't say that my life is _normal, _but I sure as hell don't feed off humans. I quit cold turkey, which was hard, but I somehow did it. It took me about a decade to be able to go out in the world and live among the humans. I think of it as my greatest accomplishment, no matter how much teenagers sicken me.

So, here I am, getting ready to head to my second first day of FHS. One more hour. One more hour and I will be joining all the prepubescent, hormone bombs at Forks High School. I can barely contain the joy of just the thought of being smothered with all the sweaty little… anyways; this is going to suck just like the last school, only so much worse and in a completely different way.

Forks is where it all started. The hate, the loneliness, the resentment. But it is that time now. People began to get suspicious at my last school, so a change of scenery was demanded. I knew the day would come where I would have to put on my big girl panties and come home, I was just hoping it wouldn't be so soon. I could have put it off for another two years… fucking teenagers and their wits… so here I stand in my tiny apartment just on the outside of Forks, waiting for the memories to flood back. Like I could have ever forgotten anyway. I would never forget a moment of it.

Not a word, a touch, a stare. It is all permanently embedded within my mind. _They_ are permanently embedded within my mind. Because of them, I have lived on my own for seventy years. The first ten years of my new life were spent serving the world's largest douche who likes to think of himself as a fucking king.

I have no one to tell my secrets to. No one to laugh with. No one to love. Just me and my motorcycle. Yes, Bella Swan on a motorcycle. Me and my Harley Davidson. Sure you could go all fancy with a Ducati or a Honda, but I prefer the old American dream. The traditional red and silver bike is my only possession, other than some clothes and books and my mp3 player.

I am far from rich, but I get by. I don't need to be all showy like _some_ vampires I once knew. I took one last look in the mirror standing near the wall in my bedroom/living room.

Wearing my usual white t-shirt and dark washed skinny jeans and, yes, biker boots, I was out the door and headed to hell. Some like to call it high school. Speeding off on my Harley is one of the few pleasures I get in this life and I never waste a second. With my worn leather jacket and black helmet, I took off at breakneck speed.

The police in this town are just as useless as they were when I was human. Not my dad of course. He was a great man and he did a great job, but his _partners_ were fucking useless.

A snarl erupted from my throat only to be washed out by the intense growl of my bike.

_Don't think about that Bella, just. Don't._

Going at an even faster speed, I made it to school in less than ten minutes. Pulling into the parking lot, I stole a space that some girl was about to take. Yeah, I am bitch sometimes.

_So what?_

I have my damn reasons. I couldn't help but laugh at the fuming human behind the wheel. Her face was red with anger, her lips yelling profanities at me as she banged her fists into her steering wheel.

Removing my helmet and shaking out my hair, I hopped off my bike with my helmet tucked under my left arm and I flipped her off. So I am a tad bit hateful. Like I said, I have my damn reasons.

The girls jaw actually dropped at my obscene gesture. Smirking at her, I made my way into the building to sign in. Avoiding all of the amused looks I was getting. This school may be fun this time around. Before rounding the corner into the building, my over-sensitive nose picked up a familiar scent.

Snapping my head in the direction of the smell, my eyes were met with those of five very stunned vampires.

_What the hell?_

Why would vampires be going here? It was then that I took in the faces and bodies attached to the eyes. My jaw actually dropped.

_Are you fucking kidding me?This just cannot be happening! Cullens._

I needed to stay in control of my emotions. With a few deep breaths, I calmed down enough to turn away from them and finally enter the building.

_Should I stay? Should I leave? No! Fuck that. I am going no-fucking-where! I don't care who was here first. This is my fucking town now._

Slamming the glass doors to the office open, I stomped loudly over to the front desk. I don't know what scared the lady more, the door being slammed or the murderous look I knew I was now sporting. Either way, the poor lady looked about ready to piss her pants. I composed my face, with a hell of a lot of effort, and told her who I was. After giving me my map and sheets to be signed, much like the last time I was here, I offered the lady a small and forced smile before storming back outside to my first hour building.

As I walked out, I wasn't surprised to see the _Cullens_ in the exact same state, as when I walked away from them five minutes ago.

"Take a fucking picture, it'll last longer," I muttered under my breath, but I knew they could hear me.

I didn't wait for their reactions before pushing through the crowd to my class.

_Am I in shock or something? I should have ripped their fucking heads off! _

I never expected to see them again. So help me, if they talk to me, shit is going down. By shit, I mean them.

[.][.][.][.][.][.][.][.][.][.][.][.][.]

"She's not all that."

"New girl is fuckin' hot."

"Oh. My. God! Did you see the new kid? She looks like a total dike."

I rolled my eyes at the many conversations surrounding me. Even if I didn't have vampire hearing, I would still be able to hear them.

'_Hello! Morons! I am sitting right the fuck behind you!' _I wanted to yell.

These kids are seriously on my last nerve. We are in a closed classroom for crying out loud! Do they honestly think that their conversations are private? Aside from the idiotic kids talking shit about me, today hasn't been too bad. I am in my third period class and I haven't run into the Cullens once. Sure I have caught their scent now and again, but that is all. Now onto a more infuriating topic. These two overly preppy bitches seated in front of me.

"I know, right? She is like acting like she's all hot shit," the one whore dressed in all pink said. I mean pink! Head to fucking toe.

"I know!" her loyal follower agreed without a hint of hesitation.

I had to laugh at that. During this whole class period the girl has been agreeing with whatever her majesty said about me. Funny thing? I could smell her fucking arousal every time she looked back at me.

_Yeah, I'm the dike. _

Not that there is anything wrong with being gay, but I do find the annoyance in hypocritical sluts. I looked up at the clock and saw that the bell was just ready to ring.

_Thank you!_ I started packing up my bags a second before the bell would ring. As I was getting ready to leave, the two shit talkers made their way in front of me. Smiling down at me, queen bitch as I like to call her, started speaking in an annoyingly nasal voice. I think it was forced. Did she think it was cute? Whatever.

"So, um, you're Bella right?"

_No shit, Sherlock. I was forced to introduce myself to the class not even an hour ago._

I smiled just as fake back at her. Might as well play along.

"Yes I am. Can I help you?"

I tried to keep the boredom out of my tone, but I think I failed. Her smile faltered a bit as she continued with her fake nice conversation.

"My name is Kelly, I was wondering if you had lunch next? I mean, I have lunch. You could sit with us." They looked at me expectantly.

_Might as well have some fun today. _

With a plan forming in my head, I nodded in agreement.

_I'll teach them to call me a dike. _

I avoided all the stares I was getting, as I walked next to these prissy girls. They were obviously enjoying the attention.

_You won't in a second ladies. _

Laughing out loud at where my thoughts were headed, I almost didn't catch it. The scent.

_Them_.

_Fuck._

They are here. Of course they would share the same lunch period as me. I looked at a table furthest away from the rest. There they sat in all their rich, conceited glory.

That was the only look I spared them. I kept my eyes away from them, as I walked to sit with the pink ladies. I smiled at my plan, as they went to get their food. I nodded my greetings to the few other people that came to sit at the table. I brushed off their attempts at conversing with me. I have a plan and it doesn't involve humoring these kids. As the two girls made their way back to the table, I caught the end of their conversation.

"She so needs to be a part of the clique! Did you see all the attention we were getting walking with her? I just hope she doesn't make a move on me." I smirked at the last bit of her sentence.

_Don't worry, honey, you are not my type._

The two of them sat down on either side of me, smiling their shit eating grins. Mustering up one of my own, I set my plan into action. As queen bitch asked me a question, I pretended I couldn't hear her, motioning for her to come closer.

_That's right, lean in a little closer._

As she leaned into my ear to say whatever it was she was going to say, I jumped up from my seat. Everyone's attention was already on us. Giving her my best horrified look, I held up my hand in defense.

"Whoa, there Kelly! I am so sorry if I gave you the wrong impression, but I don't like chicks. I appreciate the offer for a date, but I am strictly dickly over here."

Loud laughter erupted around us. I could barely keep the look of horror in place. The poor girl's face took on a rather unhealthy red, as she stared up at me in shock.

"I-I-I m-mean no, I m-mean I d-d-didn't," she stuttered out her reply, looking around the room.

I almost felt bad. Almost. Leaving all of her stuff on the table, she bolted out of the lunch room.

_Guess you don't like the attention now, huh?_

The taunting in my head continued as I picked up my things and left the lunchroom. No need to stay, the smell of the food is making me want to punch someone.

Against my better judgment, I glanced over at the table where the Cullens sat. Emmett was barely containing his booming laughter holding onto Rosalie for dear life. She was even letting loose some giggles, along with Alice and Jasper. The only one not laughing was Edward. He stayed quiet as his eyes watched my every move.

I didn't like the looks he was giving me. I turned away as fast as I could and made it out to my Harley. My calm façade dropping and my old nature shining through. My insecure, scared self that I thought I left in my human life.

_I can't do this. Too many memories. I can't._

* * *

><p><strong>I always wanted Bella to act this way… I don't know why, I guess it is the immature side of me that was screaming for her to STAND UP FOR HERSELF IN THE MOST AWESOME WAY POSSIBLE! <strong>

**Sorry for the caps.**


	4. eat you alive

**Chapter four: Eat you alive**

**Bella's point of view:**

I have finally come to a decision. After hours of pacing in my apartment, I have decided.

The damn Cullens will not run me out of Forks. If anything, they will be the ones running

with their tails between their legs. Either that or they better make room. This place is mine. That may be the territorial vibe that goes along with being a vampire, but it is the truth.

Mine.

I will not be shoved to another state because of _them_. They are nothing to me and that is exactly how they will be treated as. Nothing. I don't know how I will react if they try to talk to me, but I do know that it won't end pretty. I am not known for my patience.

Especially when it involves the Cullens. Just thinking about them makes me want to hurt someone, particularly Edward. Oh, I would love to just get my hands on him and tear him to shreds. Just the thought of it sends shivers through my body. He deserves to pay for what he did to me. He ruined my fucking life.

He introduced me to a world full of magic and immortality just to leave me. Not to mention that he left part of his world behind and it fucking attacked me and my family. I won't let anything like that happen again. They have no idea how powerful I am. They have no idea what I could do, what I have _done. _They just don't know. I'm not all mighty powerful, but I've got a few tricks up my sleeves that would have those punks wishing they never met me.

I didn't notice how early it was, or late, depending on how you look at it, until I opened my window blinds to see the sun shining through. I knew the clouds would soon follow. Looking at the clock, I realized I had just enough time to get ready. I needed to make an impression. I needed them to know how I felt without actually speaking to them. If it came to the point to where talking became unavoidable, then I would deal. I am not saying that I would deal with it in a pleasant way; I am just saying that I will deal. I don't think that I can be held accountable for what I may or may not end up doing.

I walked over to my too small closet and pulled out, what I like to think of as, the perfect outfit to make the perfect impression. They don't know this Bella. I think that it is time they finally met her. New Bella as she will be called from this day on, vows to never fall for cheap tricks and pretty smiles. New Bella vows that she will show the Cullens not to mess with her.

The wardrobe is just the top of the domination I plan to run all over them. I quickly put my clothes on and did my makeup and looked in the mirror at my work. I smiled at my reflection. Perfect. This outfit just screams 'don't mess with me'. My eyes were coated heavily and neatly with black eyeliner and dark silver eye shadow. I wore a simple black tightly-fit t-shirt that I hoped would send Edward into frenzy, though I really doubt it will.

A girl can wish, can't she? I want him to feel like he is missed out on something even though I don't believe it myself. The skinny leather pants I picked out for the special occasion fit like a second skin. I finished off with a thick worn out leather wrist band and my boots.

Now, if my style choice of the day doesn't show the Cullens that I have changed, then I guess my fists will have to do the talking for me. I am not taking any crap today or ever again. New Bella will make up for old Bella's mistakes and bad judgment.

Grabbing my helmet off of the counter, I headed out to my bike. The clouds had already set in over the sun making the day look dull and gray. Almost lifeless.

On my way out, I passed the couple that lives on the floor above me. They are always fucking or fighting. I glared at them, in a way of hyping myself up for the day ahead before speeding out of the parking lot and to the school.

I may have looked the part of a careless bitch, but I couldn't help but feel even more scared the closer I got to the school. I don't know what I was scared of. Those fools couldn't touch me.

Not physically, at least. I wouldn't let them close enough to me to do any type of damage.

[.][.][.][.][.][.][.][.][.][.][.][.][.][.][.]

Pulling into the school parking lot, I noticed that the Cullens were nowhere to be seen.

Maybe they left? That is what they do, isn't it? When the going gets tough, the Cullens get going. That should be their fucking motto or anthem. I wasn't going to count my blessings too quickly. Walking into the school and to my locker, I noticed a small post-it stuck to the very center of my locker. I grabbed it and read it out silently.

_**Meet us at our house as soon as possible.**_

_**-Edward**_

He cannot be serious. I stared at the small yellow post-it in confusion. Why would he think that I would go to his house?

_Should I? No, of course I shouldn't, should I?_

My mind was reeling with the possibilities that this meeting would bring. If I meet them on their own territory, I have no power. I may be a vampire and maybe even a wee bit of a bitch, but I still respect people's homes. That is how I was raised.

_At least I kept up with a few of the things I was raised to do. 'Don't eat people' was more of an unspoken rule, I am sure of it._

If I meet them somewhere else, I would have the advantage to say what I want and act on every impulse I get. Wait, what am I saying? I don't want to meet with them. Now my head is all confused.

Without thinking, I slammed my head into my locker, leaving my head shaped dent on it. Thankfully, there weren't many people around. I discreetly opened my locker and slapped the dent back into place. I folded the paper and stuffed it in my pocket.

With one last look around the hallway, I walked to my first period class with thoughts of what today would bring me. Choices and decisions flying around me. Should I go?

Should I forget about the note?

_I don't fucking know…_

[.][.][.][.][.][.][.][.][.][.][.][.][.][.]

Well, lunch has been a fucking blast. I decided not to sit with my _new friends_ today. I was sitting at a corner table all by my lonesome having a glaring contest with Katy…

Katherine? Maybe it was Karina… oh well, it doesn't matter. It seems that she isn't too happy about our little spat yesterday. Her friends are sort of keeping their distance from her, which I find too hi-fucking-larious. Some friends she has. She was glaring at me with so much force my skin felt like it would be burning. Of course I am in no way afraid of that pathetic excuse of existence, but I got to hand it to her, she has balls.

Most humans shy away… well, run away screaming, when in the presence of a vampire. I was so wrapped up in flipping her off with my eyes that I didn't notice the bell ringing, signaling the end of lunch, until some kids ran by my table. Their scents hitting me like a damn sword down the throat. Usually I don't have much trouble refraining from draining people, but I haven't gone hunting in about three weeks. I was going to go last night but got side-tracked by the fuck heads.

My legs led me blindly to my next class before running into something soft and warm. I looked around confused, my eyes landing to the floor.

_Well, what do you know? _

I knocked Miss Thang on her ass. She looked up at me with fire in her eyes, and it took all I had not to laugh in her face.

"How dare you! Do you know how much these jeans cost?" she yelled while trying to get to her feet.

All the humor of the situation quickly disappeared.

_Little girl, you are going to regret that._

My instincts told me to attack, while my common sense and more controlled side held me back. I didn't appreciate being talked to like that, especially by someone as worthless as this bitch. She looked up at me expectantly, her arms crossed over her flat chest. My right hand shot out and knocked her roughly into the lockers.

_Instinct it is then._

I moved my arm so it was holding her in place on the lockers. Must control the damn situation. I looked into her wide, fearful eyes. I had to reel in some control before I could speak, otherwise it would all come out as a jumbled growl. Talk about awkward…

"Listen here. You don't speak to me like I am one of your mindless little subjects. You will not look or speak to me ever. Again. If you do, I will eat. You. Alive," I hissed in her face and dropped my arm from her chest. She immediately fell to the floor.

I could tell that she wasn't breathing, partially because she was turning blue.

_Maybe I went too far?_

I gave one cautious kick to her leg, to make sure she could move. She took in a long shaky breath, not looking anywhere near me.

_Okay, I guess she's alright._

I quickly walked away from her. I didn't need to be caught standing over her while she looked like she just watched someone kill her cat… or mom. With one last look at her frozen form, I flew out of the school.

_Guess I won't be going to my classes… again._

I cannot keep leaving after lunch. I just wish it would stop being so fucking necessary. I jumped on my Harley and took off to nearest and safest place to go hunting.

[.][.][.][.][.][.][.][.][.][.][.][.][.]

"Get your hairy ass back here!"

I took off after a wild fox, laughing my ass off. I always got a kick out of these creatures. They are fun to chase and fight with. I don't exactly know why I enjoy it so much, I just do. I always go for the nearest fox after filling up on other animals. I never feed on them, just fuck with them. We all have our weird habits and rituals.

I ran at a third of my usual speed after the animal, the whole time laughing like a maniac. I chased the little fucker out of the wooded area and onto a road. I stopped dead in my tracks and sniffed the air.

_Shit. _

_Fuck. _

_Damn it._

I looked to my left and realized where I was. Standing as beautiful and enormous as ever was the Cullen mansion. I sent a death glare to the sneaky little fox, which quickly retreated back into the trees.

"Yeah, you better run you little shit," I hissed under my breath at the foul creature. My head quickly snapped up when I heard someone's booming laughter. I realized that I wasn't alone. I turned to see them, the Cullens. All of them were here in front of my very eyes. I never thought that the day would come. I noticed that both Emmett and Alice were laughing at my little exchange with the fox. I sent a glare their way, making fast of wiping the smiles from their faces. I looked behind them to their house, then back at them. A smile creeping on my face. We are not on their property. We are in the road. Good, I won't be breaking any of my own rules.

They must have mistaken my smile for something more since Emmett rushed at me. He picked me up and twirled me around a few times, squeezing the crap out of me like he used to. It took a second for me to register what was happening. I could feel the burning fury rushing through my body and knew it was going to come out one way or another. With all the force I had, I slammed my fist down on the side of his large head. He dropped me instantly, grabbing at his head.

"Ow! What the hell was that for?" he asked with both anger and hurt evident in his voice.

I didn't respond to his idiotic question. Obviously because you were violating me you dumb fuck. Instead I turned to Carlisle. Edward may have left the note on my locker, but I refuse to speak to him directly.

"You wanted a little chat?"

I just noticed his eyes were as wide as saucers. He kept glancing between me and Emmett, wonder clear in his eyes. Getting tired of the wait, I cleared my throat rather violently. His eyes zoned in on my own. I crossed my arms over my chest, still waiting for him to speak. I almost laughed at the look on his face, but I didn't want to give the wrong impression again. I waited and waited for what seemed like a really long fucking time. I rolled my eyes and turned to walk away, tired of this crap.

"Wait!" Someone wrapped their long fingers around my wrist, forcing me to stop.

I turned quickly, ready to bitch the person out, but when I turned, I was face to face with the star of my many nightmares.

_Edward._

I ripped my arm out of his grasp, my eyes blazing a fierce fire. He winced noticeably at the look in my eyes and brought his hands into his pockets. I didn't dare look into his eyes, as I spoke my next words through clenched teeth.

"Never. Touch. Me."

I was ready to walk away again before being stopped by a familiar hateful voice.

"What the HELL is your problem?"

I turned to look at the face that the voice belonged to, only to be met with the hard, unmoving eyes of Rosalie. The bitch herself. The devil reincarnate. I could go on forever, thank shit I have that long. Showing no fear or apprehension, I strode over to her. I stood only two feet away from her towering figure. Lifting my head to look her in the eyes, I gave her my best 'don't fuck with it' glare before speaking.

"Excuse me?" I asked but refused to let her say anything.

"I see after all these years you are still the same BITCH you always were. Tell me _Rose_, when are you planning on growing the fuck up? A lady of your age really should be more mature."

I took a deep breath trying to steady my nerves. She looked about ready to hit me. Emmett wrapped his big ass arms around her waist pulling her shaking form to his chest, while he glared at me over her head. I decided to fuel the fire and looked her dead straight in the eye and smirked the cockiest I could at her. Her resounding growl told me it was a job well done. Turning away from her, I ran right into Edward. I shoved him away from me and took a few steps back.

_Might as well get this shit over with._

I ran my hands through my mess of hair, looking at their house as I spoke.

"Okay, tell me why the fuck you wanted to meet with me so I can be on my merry way."

I didn't even try to hide the frustration in my voice. What is the point? I expected a bunch of yells in my direction by the way I was acting toward them, but all I got was a sorrowful looking Esme stepping up to me. I held out my hand to signal her to stop where she was. I really didn't want to have to hit her. I may hate her ugly fucking guts, but I could never hit such a sweet looking lady.

_I know, I know. Some vampire I am. _

She took a deep breath and looked as if she were trying not to cry as she spoke to me.

_The hell is that about?_

"Bella, honey, we wanted you to come here so we could ask something of you." Her voice was strained as she avoided eye contact with me.

_I swear to all that is good and evil in the world, if they even dare ask me to leave Forks, I am flipping my fucking lid. If they don't want to share, they can leave. End of story. _

I braced myself for what she was going to say next. They will regret it if they say it.

"You are alone…" she trailed off, seemingly thinking about her next words. I waited impatiently as she thought.

"We wanted you to join our coven. Our _family._ You don't have to be alone. You can be with family.

_What. The. FUCK!_

* * *

><p><strong>Yeah, so, um, tell me how bad this sucked. I tried. Also, I am no beggar (beggars are boogers, says my mama.) but I only got four reviews for the last chapter I think. I really want to know what you people think! I do, I do! But it is your own choice…<strong>


	5. i hate you

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed. I even want to thank the people who take the time to read this crap. I appreciate it. **

**Ignore any mistakes. I was sort of head banging to Mary Magdalan while re-writing this chapter…**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Five: I Hate You<strong>

**Bella's point of view:**

_What. The. FUCK!_

I stared dumbly at each of their faces, not really seeing them. There is no way I heard that right. Why would they do this to me? Do they like torturing me like this? Do they like making me feel like part of their family, then stealing it all away from me like I am nothing more than an old toy that needs to be thrown out? I was just a game to them, now they want another go at the gullible girl?

_No way, fuck that shit! I won't do this again._

Gullible girl is long gone, along with her family and friends.

"Bella?"

I looked over at Esme, who was waiting for my answer. What the hell does she expect? Does she seriously think that I am just going to run right into her fucking arms?

_Hell no! _

"Bella?" she asked again.

I could feel the fury building deep inside me. I was ready to lose it on these people. I couldn't let them see how much they hurt me. I won't give them the satisfaction. I can give them a glimpse of my hate toward them, but never the extent that I so desperately wish that I could. If I did that, then they'd know. They would know what was under all the rage that seeps from my pores. I can't let them know that. So with a deep breath, I plastered on the most genuine smile I could, looking at each of them before settling on the house behind them.

"You want me to be apart of your coven… your _family?_" I asked, just to make sure I had heard them right.

I saw a few heads nod energetically.

_I see they can't wait to have their little play toy back._

The thought brought on the anger that was quickly building inside of me.

"I see. That is really interesting, you see, because at one point in my life, I thought that I _was_, only to later on realized that I was being played."

I moved my eyes away from the house to look at them. Esme looked positively heart-broken. I think she was the best actress out of them all. She played the loving mother so damn well with me. Alice had a hand over her mouth, shaking her head. Edward, well now he was a mystery to me. His expression was unfathomable. I couldn't really place one emotion there, but I honestly didn't give a rat's ass at this point. My former humiliation of my last encounter with him had my head reeling with images of what I could do to him to make him suffer and not one of them is pretty.

I wanted to make him hurt, I wanted to make him just _feel_ even an ounce of the pain he put me through. I didn't want to ruin everything that I have built up for myself by showing these people what they did to me, but I wanted - NO! I needed to make them _feel it. _They ripped me to _pieces! _Now they want to pretend that they are all good? Really?

_Really!_

I could feel the fake smile on my face faltering, as I thought about the few months after they had left me, the months that led up to… all that bad shit that I can't and won't relive in front of these people. I couldn't help but let my anger shine through at these fucks.

These vampires that I had once considered my family. They were important to me. I _loved them._ Now all I felt for them was _hate_. They ruined me and they don't even know it.

_Maybe they do know it. Maybe that is their sick and twisted game._

Alice is a fucking psychic. She should have seen what Victoria was planning on doing. I know she must have. Even if I was the game that they played, they still should have spared my father. He didn't deserve what happened to him.

More and more anger made itself known all over my body, tingling and burning in my veins. I focused my eyes on Esme.

_I might as well get a few things off of my chest._

"Fuck you," I said as calmly as I could.

"And fuck you."

I used my middle finger to point out each of the Cullens, as I told them exactly how I felt.

"Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, and fuck you!"

I rested my eyes on the last Cullen.

Edward.

My voice was now deathly calm, as I stared him down. His eyes held hurt as I spat my next words at him.

"_Fuck. You."_

His mouth dropped open; his eyes wide as he took a few steps away from me. I admit that I have imagined this scenario hundreds of times before. Meeting up with them after all these years and bitching them out. Hurting them. Showing them I am not that same girl anymore, but I never thought that I would actually get the chance to do it. I never thought I would get the chance to tell them exactly how I felt. I especially never imagined that all I would be able to say was 'fuck' and 'you'. The words my mind had always conjured up were immature and shameful, now they just didn't seem to fit. They didn't work. _Fuck you_ seemed to be the best I could do and, hell, it worked fine for me. The looks on their faces were enough for me to be able to leave even with the slightest satisfaction.

They were each stunned silent. I had nothing left to say to them, nothing to prove.

_Nothing. _

I gave them each one last hard look before turning around and taking off to the trees. As I ran, I could feel the presence of someone following me. He said nothing, he just followed. I wouldn't lead him to my home, so I took a shortcut, hopping over a small creek, running through and dodging trees. I didn't need the air, but I felt like my lungs were ready to collapse in on me. I couldn't take this feeling of being crushed again. It was too much, the pain, the desperation. I needed to be free of this. How can I really be a different Bella if they still get to me like this? I can't. Freedom is in my reach, but I won't get to it because the one following me obviously didn't agree that I deserved it as he continued to follow my fleeting movements.

_I can't take this._

With a loud and fierce growl, I turned around so I was face to face with him. With Edward. He said nothing, only stared.

"What do you want from me?" I asked, not even trying to hide the venom in my voice.

"Please… please, let me explain myself?" His voice was so desperate that for a second I thought that if he were human, there would be tears streaming down his cheeks… no that thought would be wrong.

I know it. I wouldn't dare think it again.

"What is it, huh? What needs to be explained?"

I clasped my hands behind my back to keep from attacking him. I wanted so bad to make him hurt and at the same time, I didn't.

_I hate him. _

I had to keep reminding myself of this. I know I hate him, I know I do. I can't let old feelings get in the way.

"I-I, please… I am so sorry, p-please listen?" he begged.

"I am already listening, now speak." My tone was clipped and showed no emotion. I wouldn't allow it. Not now, not ever again, unless that emotion is hate. Hate I am good at. It is easy to feel and doesn't leave me broken.

I tried to avoid Edward's eyes, but he made that impossible for me. He looked like he was trying to tell me everything with just one look. That may have been possible once, but now, now we were on a completely different frequency. I could tell that he was noticing this as he looked away from me. He looked so sad. I don't understand it and I don't know if I could even handle _trying_ to understand it.

"Bella, I lied to you. I lied all those years ago. I lied to protect you. I am s-"

"Shut it, Cullen!" I cut him off.

I knew where he was going with this. I knew what he was trying to do, and I will be damned if I am going to let him do this to me again.

"Wh-what? No, Bella, listen…"

"No!"

I wasn't going to let him say anything else to me about this. I would not be made a fool of again!

"You listen!"

I pointed a finger to his chest, pushing him back. He rubbed absentmindedly where I had poked him, but kept his eyes glued to me.

"I want you to be the hell quiet! You don't get to justify what you did just so you can do it again! Fuck that! I am not a play thing and I _will_ kill you if you think that I will _ever_ forgive you and go back to how things were. I won't! This is me now. I am nobody's fool! When you see me, you better look the other damn way. If y-"

"Bella, plea-" his words were cut off by the palm of my hand landing sharply across his cheek.

I slapped him. Hard. The slap echoed loudly through the woods, causing birds to fly from their nests in the trees. Edward held a hand to his cheek, his eyes as wide as they could possibly go.

"Don't you interrupt me," I spat out through my clenched teeth.

He just nodded his head.

"As I was saying, if you _or_ your family comes near me at school or anywhere else, you will seriously regret it. I _hate_ you Edward Cullen. I hate your stupid face. I hate your stupid voice. I hate your stupid clothes. I hate your stupid… you're just a giant pile of stupid!"

_Wow. Now, even I think that was immature._

I could come up with better than that. I know I could, but I was just so angry that he had followed me that words flew out. Why couldn't he let me be alone when it was so obvious that it was exactly what I wanted?

"I want you out of my face in the next five seconds."

I closed my eyes and waited. I could still feel him near me, he hadn't moved a centimeter. My frustration was growing.

_Why is he still here? I want to be left the hell alone!_

With a lot of effort on my part, I opened my eyes. He was still standing there with the same 'deer caught in the headlights' expression and his hand holding his cheek. I was livid. Doesn't he get it? I want him gone! With as much of a commanding tone as I could muster, I lifted my right hand and held up five fingers and dropped each as I counted down.

"5... 4... 3... Edward Cullen, do NOT make me get to one. You will not like where it gets you."

I spoke to him like he was a child and I was the commanding teacher.

"… 2..." and in a flash he was gone.

As soon as I knew he was completely away from me, I couldn't help but fall to the forest floor in hysterics.

_Oh no, did that really just happen?_

That was… surreal. Like nothing I have ever experienced. I felt oddly empowered, like I could take on the damn world. I didn't let it get to my head too much though. It was _just_ Edward Cullen. But I was left with one of the most entertaining images. Edward looking like a scared little shit. His golden eyes wide. The same eyes that used to make me dizzy...

The empowered feeling soon vanished taking the humor of the situation along with it. My laughing turned into painful sobs. I grabbed at my chest like I was ready to fall apart.

_No, don't do this! I was getting so much better. _

"Please? Please, don't make me feel… please?" my voice was a sobbing, hiccupping mess.

I felt sick for the first time since I was changed. I was doing so well. Why? I shook my head, ridding myself of thoughts of _them_. I won't be taken down. I won't be broken. This is me and I am powerful and I won't _break so easily._

[.][.][.][.][.][.][.][.][.][.][.][.][.]

_**6:50 a.m.**_

_Get up! Get up! Get up you fucking coward!_

I forced myself to my feet. I needed to do this. I needed to go to school. I needed to face my demons.

_Some very evil and very fucked up demons._

Today can either be a pleasant victory or a shameful run-in. I would prefer the pleasant victory. I'm just all too unsure of how I will react to seeing them all after yesterday. I said things that I don't regret, but still… _awkward._ I really didn't want to see their faces.

What if they saw through me? What if they think that they can still make me their willing puppet? They can't. But what if they think that they can? I don't want to lose it in front of all of FHS.

That would just not go over too well.

_**6:52 a.m.**_

_Okay! Shake it off already._

I didn't even bother to dress to make an impression today. I just threw on some jeans and a baggy red t-shirt. I took one look in the mirror and rolled my eyes. _Fuck good impressions._ I forced my way out of my door, grabbing my helmet and leather jacket from the kitchen counter.

_I can make it. The Cullens are shit. Just remember that and everything will be just dandy._

I zoomed off to school, not even bothering with the speed limits or the angry people honking their horns at me. I was a woman on a mission. That mission being me going to school and not killing some fools that piss me off. These kinds of things are easier said than done. I pulled into the parking lot, spinning my wheels causing rocks and dirt to fly around, for a dramatic entrance.

I can be an attention grabber when I feel like it. Today, I felt like it. I needed to show certain people that I was not going to back down. I was not going to be broken down.

Even as the thoughts passed through my head, I couldn't help but hope the Cullens weren't here as I took off my helmet. I took a deep breath and sure enough, my senses were insulted by the familiar sweet smell. I looked over to the banes of my being.

Only two were looking over at me. Alice looked at me like I was something to be studied. Edward looked at me with determination. For what, I would really rather not know.

I tucked my helmet under my arm and gave them my iciest stare before walking the few steps to the school. I noticed a few girls scatter as I approached. One of them being that girl that I threatened. I was no good with names. I smirked at her frightened face and waved. She looked like she was ready to pass out.

Why I got this satisfaction of scaring her is beyond me, but it made me feel badass. If I feel badass, I feel good. If I feel good, there is less of a chance that I will crumble under the pressures that today is sure to bring.

[.][.][.][.][.][.][.][.][.][.][.]

So far, so good. They haven't tried anything with me today. In fact, they seemed to be avoiding me like the plague. Even Alice. I was pretty surprised but also too happy that they understood. Hopefully they keep up with their new found understanding because I would really like to finish my classes today. Each class leading up to lunch passed rather quickly.

I made it to the cafeteria, walking around like I owned the place. I will admit I let my superiority to the humans get to my head sometimes. I can't help it. If you have it you might as well take advantage of it. I entered the cafeteria and was immediately regretting it. They were there. They were staring. They were pissing me off. I walked to a corner table with their eyes following my every move.

_Keep it up ya fucks…_

I plopped down in my seat and grabbed my mp3 player out of my pocket. Two thoughts were going through my head all throughout lunch.

_Ignore the nuisance. Don't kill. _

I had to constantly repeat this mantra as they didn't take their eyes away from me once. I felt like they were sizing me up or some shit. I never once looked up to see them, but I knew. Their eyes were like several annoying bugs crawling over my skin and biting when their stares got too intense. I found myself tapping my fingers on the table, as the seconds ticked by far too slowly.

Finally, the bell rang. I was up and out of my seat in seconds. I took my time getting to my next class. I was in no hurry. Once I showed up, the teacher 'what's his face' gave me a stern look, muttering something about me being too good to show up the last two days and not even on time today. I brushed him off and went to sit at the only free table near the back. This would be the only class that I would enjoy.

English. It had always been my favorite subject. I closed my eyes and got lost in the words that the teacher was reading. He stopped abruptly, bringing me out of my trance. My eyes snapped open and landed on _him_. He was handing the teacher some note.

Everything went slow as he turned to me and walked down the aisle of desks. He took the only open seat, which happened to be right next to me.

_Damn, damn, damn! Why me? What did I ever do to deserve this? I'm a fairly good girl. _

I am imaging this. Yes, that is it. He is not in my class sitting right next to me. I closed my eyes tight, trying to will him away.

"We need to talk."

_Damn it!_

* * *

><p><strong>So, whataya thinking? I know it could be better but I have some writer's block going on. I didn't know that shit was real. I thought bitches were just lying so they didn't have to write. Whoops. Anyways, tell me things that make me happy! Or piss me off… I don't know. Whatever turns you on I guess.<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Okay, I am pimping out my new story. Here is the summary:<strong>

**Rags and Riches:**

**Edward Cullen doesn't appreciate things not going his way. When the new girl shows up, she tests his patience and pushes his limits. Can this player learn to care for another when she needs help the most? Will she accept it or push him away? **

**Typical High school.**

**Rating is M!**


	6. Her day of death is mine

**This chapter is going to be different than the one in the previous version of this story. I have different ideas now, but have no worries, I will still get to the point that I left off on in the last story.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Six: Her Day of Death is Mine<strong>

**Bella's point of view:**

What is this idiot not getting? Is he really this damn stupid? He really needs to stop his fucking around now. I am not going to fall for their crap again. I thought I made that clear when I punched Emmett's oversized head! Or when I told them all to fuck off! Maybe even when I slapped him? Or when I told them directly that I wanted nothing to do with them. You know, that right there should have been the sealing of the deal. But, no. This guy sitting next to me has to be the densest piece of work I have ever come across in my too long life. Or he is just a prick that wants to make my life hell.

I tried my best to ignore him, but he seemed pretty damn determined to get my attention, what with the constant pencil pokes to my side and the paper balls being thrown at me. I don't remember him being this damn immature! Then again, I never really knew him, did I? No, I knew who he pretended to be and that is it. Edward Cullen is a stranger to me and that is exactly how I am treating him. Even with his pencil poking that is slowly driving me insane!

"Pssst. Bella? Isabella? Bells? Bella? Bell? Isabella?"

_Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God! _

If he doesn't shut his annoying trap soon, every person in this room is going to pay! He is included in this, of course. I had to hold onto the seat of my chair to keep from scratching his eyes out this very second. No, maybe I will pull his tongue out, and then I will focus on his eyes… No! First I will slowly break each of his fingers off, _then_ go for the tongue… Yeah, that sounds like a good plan. I just need to get him alone - No! What am I thinking? I can't be alone with this fuck! Shit!

_Get a hold of yourself, Bella. He is not worth risking everything you have worked for!_

I shook my head of all the Edward murdering scenarios I found myself indulging in.

"Bella? Do you hear me?" he whispered too close to my ear.

His voice is like a trigger to my murderous instincts. Every word he spoke pushed me closer and closer to insanity and his death. My fingers dug into the cold metal of the chair I was sitting on and if I didn't calm down soon my fingers would go right through the seat. If he would just leave me alone for… forever! I would be just dandy.

"Isabella?" he stage whispered for the hundredth time.

Why me? Why can't he leave me alone? I just don't understand and that is frustrating me to no end! Can't he see that I am not doing this with him again? Why does he have to push me like this?

My eyes were drawn to the clock on the wall every few seconds and it seemed that with very tick of the hand came another poke to my side with a number two pencil eraser. I was sitting up straight with my hands clasped tightly on my lap, pretending to pay attention to whatever the teacher was lecturing about while simultaneously holding myself back from killing the guy sitting next to me. Let me tell you something, I am terrible at multitasking.

_One more poke… One more DAMN poke and I am done for… _

Just as the thought passed through my head I received a light and irritating poke to my ribcage, making me flinch visibly.

_Oh, that is it! _

I jumped up from my seat and hurled my pencil at Edwards face. It broke into pieces the very second it hit his hard forehead.

"What? What? WHAT? What could you possibly want from me, Edward?" I yelled so fiercely, I even scared myself.

Edward just sat there with wide eyes and his mouth hanging open. I looked around the room and saw many of the same expressions on my fellow classmates' faces. Some even looked about ready to pass out. I could only imagine what I must look like right now. I had to reign in my emotions. I took a deep breath to calm myself out of habit.

_Bad idea, bad idea! Shit!_

All of this frustration running through me burned away some of the blood of my last hunt. My vampire senses kicked in hard and my head snapped around the room, looking for a suitable victim to feed from. My mind was hazy with hunger and anger, but I could vaguely hear two voices speaking to each other, then I was forced from the room and away from the humans. I knew who it was that was pushing me from the school, but I did nothing to stop him. Sadly, I needed him right now. I needed someone to get me out of there or all of Forks would pay for what the monster inside of me will do.

I have never seen how the Volturi take care of their business when a whole town has been exposed to our world, but I have _heard_ of it. There is only one time that they had to take care of things so drastically. Four words. The Great Chicago Fire. I don't want that to happen to Forks. I have memories here. Some happy, some not so happy. Most of all, my father is buried here. So I let Edward lead me through the trees just outside the school and he practically dragged me to a clearing far enough that I couldn't smell the humans anymore.

I collapsed on the wet ground and threw my arms over my face with a huff, disappointed in my lack of control and embarrassed that Edward was there to witness me in my time of weakness.

"Umm, Bella?"

_Ignore him. _

"Bella, please listen to me?"

_Ignore him and he may go away._

"Isabella! Please?"

_He's not going away, is he? _

I sat up and crossed my legs Indian style.

"What can I help you with?" I asked in a bored tone.

He smiled brightly, like I had given him the damn world on a silver platter or something and walked over to me. He pulled something from his backpack and held it out to me.

"There is nothing I can say that will make you believe me. I realize that now. I want you to take this and come and find me if and when you finish it," he whispered.

I held my hands out and he dropped a slightly thick and wide package onto my palms. He said nothing else as he backed away from me and took off running toward the school. I studied the brown package for a few minutes before tucking it under my arm and running to the school to my bike. I didn't want to risk being too close to the humans right now, so I left my helmet in my locker and sped off in the direction of home.

[.][.][.][.][.][.][.]

I ripped the paper open and revealed a thick golden notebook. I could tell that it was old, because they didn't make notebooks like this anymore. They barely even _made_ notebooks anymore. It was all computers, basically. I wonder why he gave me this. What could either of us benefit from this crap? I took a deep breath and held it as I opened the notebook to the very first page.

_-Day one away from Isabella._

_I miss seeing her beautiful brown eyes shining with love as she stares up at me. I miss the smell of her skin, her hair. I miss the sound of her pulse thrumming in her chest. _

_-Day two away from Isabella._

_Being away from her has become too much for me. I see her every time I close my eyes. I swear I can hear her voice in my ear._

_-Day three away from Isabella._

_I have to see her._

_-Day four away from Isabella._

_I need to see her._

_-Day five away from Isabella._

_I am losing my mind. I see her everywhere I turn. Every random face on the street has her eyes, her mouth, her cheeks, and her hair. I have reached my limit._

I couldn't believe what I was reading. I know this has to be a lie. He must have made this recently. I looked at the tattered pages, folding into themselves with age and I knew it couldn't be. This is old paper. This is an old notebook. I skipped to the very last page, unable to stop myself.

_-Too long away from my Isabella._

_She should have known. She should have seen this earlier. Alice told me that it was just one of those things. One of those things that was meant to happen. Today, I hit my sister. How could she say that my Bella was meant to die? She was meant to live a long and beautiful life. That is why I left her. Her life was cut short and I have no idea who did this or why. All these days, months, however long it has been, were all in vain. If I hadn't abandoned her, she would still be alive and in my arms. If she is not alive then neither am I. Her day of death is mine._

My breath left me in a harsh exhale that left me panting for unneeded air.

_What the hell did I just read?_

* * *

><p><strong>So, that's it for this chapter. Tell me what you think of that. I know Edward didn't keep a journal in the actual book, but that doesn't mean I can't make-believe.<strong>

**The next chapter is done, but I am going through it and adding on more crap that I want in the story. Next update shouldn't take long at all, guys.**


	7. Hash it out

**I do not own the first few lines that are italicized. They are from New Moon!**

**There is a little bit of Alice's point of view mixed in there, but only because I felt it was very necessary. This will most likely be the only time that I do this.**

* * *

><p><strong>Thanks for all of the reviews! I appreciate it a lot!<strong>

**~Jodie-Loner: Thanks so much! In the previous version I had Esme be the voice of reason. I like my new idea better. **

**~danielle72679: Thanks! Don't worry, I don't work like that. **

**~Hannah: There hasn't been one time where someone hasn't said that. Apparently no one like poor Alice. I think Alice is cool, but my favorite Cullen sister is and always will be Rosalie.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Seven: Hash It Out<strong>

**Bella's point of view:**

"_Bella, I don't want you to come with me." He spoke the words slowly and precisely, his cold eyes on my face, watching as I absorbed what he was really saying. There was a pause as I repeated the words in my head a few times, sifting through them for their real intent. _

_"You… don't… want me?" I tried out the words, confused by the way they sounded, placed in that order. _

_"No."_

Pathetic. I was pathetic that day and all throughout my human life. It is pathetic that for so long I thought of that as the worst day of my life. My boyfriend left me. He abandoned me in the woods and I couldn't even be mature about it. No, I stayed in my room and worried my mother and father to near death and I worried my friends. But did I care? No. I didn't give a shit. All I cared about was what happened and how it affected _me_. I made my father's life hell because he was so afraid for me and that he was losing his only child to depression. It still kills me that I did nothing to reassure him. I wanted him to feel bad for me. I wanted everyone to feel bad for me because deep down I knew that if I couldn't be happy, I didn't want the people around me to be either. It was selfish and I beat myself up for it everyday.

I never once blamed Edward for leaving me, for making me feel like I was worthless. I felt like I was just something that he could toss to the side. I blamed everyone around for having what I didn't.

Joy.

Joy and love and compassion all left me from that day to this day. Present. Now. I know better today. I grew up and matured into… whatever the hell it is I am now. I may have killed innocent humans for both hunger and pleasure, but I am still a better person _today_ than I was eighty odd years ago. I turned my life around for the better and I didn't bring anyone down to my level like I did so long ago.

But I am still bothered that I never once blamed Edward. I do now, but not for leaving me. I blame him for ever being there in the first place when he knew that he would have to leave me one day whether he wanted it or not. He _knew. _That is why I find it so hard to forgive him. To forgive them. They all knew. Alice may have had all of those visions of me becoming one of them, but she also knew how stubborn Edward was - is. Apart of her had always been aware that there were other fates for me - for us.

Her vision had come true, yes; I give her that much credit, but the way it happened was brutal and disgusting. Alice had painted a beautiful picture in my head all those years ago. I imagined myself dressed in all white and Edward lovingly taking my life to give me a new and improved one.

How pathetic was I? Very pathetic. Can I be blamed for falling for their charms? Not really. I know all too well what vampires are capable of without even realizing that they are doing it.

So here I am now, contemplating everything as I clenched the tattered old notebook in my hands and stared up at the huge glass mansion. I knew they knew I was out here, but they were gracious enough to wait for me to decide when it was time to go in. The thoughts and memories were running through my head. Edward telling me he loved me the first time.

Edward kissing me for the first time. Me attacking him with my teenaged hormonal lips. Edward humming me my lullaby. Edward kissing my face as I fell asleep and whispering beautiful promises in my ear. Alice going crazy on my wardrobe but smiling adoringly as I argued with her. Jasper being polite in my presence when all he wanted to do was devour me. Emmett being Emmett. The lovable guy that can make you smile even on your worst days. Esme treating me like her own daughter. Carlisle treating my wounds on several occasions, free of charge. Even Rosalie's hard and mean and uncivil glares.

The Cullens were my family at one point in my life. That point in my life is over now, though. I believe that Edward left me for my own safety. Now that I think about it, it is a very Edward like thing to do. But I can't let them back in. Why? Because they left me all alone when they knew I loved them. They didn't even say goodbye. Also, knowing the truth would have been a life saver for me. I would have known that Edward left me because he loved me and not because he wanted a new distraction. It was hell to think that I wasn't enough for him and I don't think that he has thought about that. If he did, then he would get it, but he doesn't _get it_. I am going to make him understand now.

I took a deep breath, readying myself and took long determined strides up to the huge mansion. I knocked hard and with purpose. This wasn't a social visit and they needed to be sure of that. The very second my hands connected with the smooth wooden door frame, it was pulled open by a fidgety Alice. She opened the door and motioned for me to go in. The whole family stood in the living room, not one was seated, as they stared at me with worry and anticipation evident in their matching golden eyes. Esme was the first to break the tension filled silence.

"Would you like us to leave you and Edward alone?" she asked, as she moved closer to the stairs.

I held my hands out to stop her.

"That won't be necessary, Esme. I came here to speak with each and everyone of you," I announced to the whole room.

"Well, I am out of here." Rosalie unwrapped herself from Emmett's embrace and started to walk from the room.

The control on my temper was waning and Jasper stiffened where he stood slightly in front of Alice. He spoke in a clear and warning tone.

"Rosalie, I think it would be best if you stayed with the rest of the family and just listened to what Bella has to say."

Rosalie glanced at me, but showed no hostility. She studied me from my hard eyes to my clenched fists, and then moved to stand back by Emmett. He wrapped her lovingly in his huge arms and leaned his chin on the top of her head. I had to look away from the scene.

My eyes met with Edward's for the briefest of seconds and turned away only to be met with Carlisle's eyes, so filled with compassion. It felt like the walls were closing in on me. The memories were depriving my lungs of the air that was not needed, but wanted. My left hand subconsciously made its way to my chest, where I grasped my shirt and held back the painful sobs that were threatening to overtake me. I didn't come here for this. I need to focus on the mission.

"Isabella?"

Esme put her gentle hand to my elbow and led me to the couch.

"Please sit down," she said, as pushed me to the cushion and I obliged with no complaints.

Sitting down may make this easier for me.

"Everyone sit," she ordered the room.

In an instant everyone was seated, uncomfortably and at odd angles as they all steered clear of where I was sitting. The atmosphere was awkward and I suddenly felt unwelcome. I knew that wasn't what they meant, but I couldn't help my human insecurities that were coming back to life. I cleared my throat just as Carlisle opened his mouth to speak.

"Bella, there was something you came here to say…" he trailed off, giving me the opportunity to fill in the blanks.

If only I knew where to start.

_How about the beginning?_

"Thank you, Carlisle. I came here to let you all know that I am aware that your intentions are good," I said, as I held up Edward's notebook.

"However, to me, that changes almost nothing. It changes my view of all of you to a point, but not enough for me to welcome you back into my… my life," I stammered, struggling for the right words to use.

"I-I have acted embarrassingly childish to all of you, but you need to understand exactly where I was coming from. You all left me for dead! You may not have realized it at the time; but that is what you did. You introduced me to this magical life, you made me feel wanted, and then you took it all away from me. You left me unprotected, knowing that I was a danger magnet and there were some vampires with a vendetta against me!" I was practically in hysterics now as the sickening memories flooded me.

"You… you… I can't blame you for leaving if you just didn't care about me, but you _did!_" I screamed and slammed the notebook on the coffee table.

"You cared! I know that now, but that was never really the reason I was so mad at you. The reason that made me the angriest was what happened _after_ you had left. Do you know how I was changed?" I asked in a pathetic and broken voice.

They all looked fully ashamed of themselves, but nodded their heads no. I knew as much from what I read in Edward's book, but I just needed to clarify.

"I won't bother you with the gruesome details. I didn't come here for your pity and I really don't want it. I came here to let you know that this can't happen." I stood from my seat and gestured around wildly.

"This! All of this is too much for me and you are killing me by just being near me. You being here - _me_ being here - has brought back so many memories that I can't even think straight. We can coexist, I think, but you have to keep your space." I closed my eyes, trying to get a hold of my chaotic emotions and waited for a response.

Nothing came. I opened my eyes and saw everyone staring oddly at me. Their eyes were fixed on my hands and I suddenly felt the heat coming off of them.

_Shit!_

I didn't look back at them as I dashed from the house, ripping the door from its hinges. I ran into the trees and kept going and going until a body tackled me to the ground. My instincts kicked in and I growled and was about to throw my shield out when wet and persistent lips crashed onto my own. My eyes shot open and my body stilled underneath him.

Edward was lying above me, holding me down and pretty much forcing a kiss out of me. It took me a few seconds to reign in my thoughts and when I did, I was pissed.

_Did he not listen to a word I had said in there? _

My emotions went crazy and my shield vibrated under my skin. In a second, Edward was thrown off of me. He landed a few yards away. I got up to run, but his voice stopped me.

"Please, Bella? Please! Please! I love you and I refuse to lose you again. The only way I will ever leave you alone is if you kill me, which I believe you are extremely capable of. If you want me out of your life, kill me!" he shouted.

I turned to him so quickly, it startled him.

"Edward, I am warning you… back off or I may do something that will hurt a lot of people," I threatened.

He did the exact opposite of what I said and took giant leaps toward me. I backed up cautiously.

"Hear me out, Bella."

He held his hands out in front of him as he approached me. I could feel my shield about ready to bust out from inside of me. The sparks shot out from my hands, just itching to make the full circle and knock him on his ass. He wasn't completely oblivious of this, but he didn't back off. Instead, he advanced.

"I am so sorry for what you went through, Bella," he whispered. His words struck an emotion that was all too unpleasant.

"Sorry?" I asked on the edge of hysterics.

"You are sorry, Edward? What are you sorry for? You don't even know what happened! Are you sorry I am still alive? Are you sorry that I am a vampire? Or are you sorry you left me?" I asked, as I walked over to him.

"I am not sorry for you being alive. I am sorry for everything else," he whispered.

"Oh, really?" I asked.

He just nodded his head. I could feel my nerves as they completely separated from each other and connected to my shield. My shield was focused in one area. I was going in for the world's most powerful punch. Maybe then he would learn.

"Edward, you could have saved us both a lot of heartache had you not been such a self-loathing, self-centered prick! You're sorry? You are? You are always so damn sorry! Here is a crazy ass idea! Stop doing shit to be sorry about!" I yelled, as I pulled my right fist back and launched it at his face.

**Alice's point of view:**

They were far enough in the woods that none of us could hear them speaking. I couldn't stand that I couldn't see the outcome of all of this. I still don't understand why that is? I have never had this problem before.

I tried to concentrate on Bella's future, and everything came up blank. I gave up with a frustrated sigh and flung my body on the couch next to Jasper. His body was tensed from all of the conflicting emotions being thrown around the room.

"What if she kills him?"

Emmett was standing with his face practically pressed against the window, trying to hear them.

"Shut up, Emmett. Bella wouldn't do that," I tried to reason, but he was too far gone.

He felt that Bella was a killer and I really did not appreciate that one bit.

"How do you know that, Alice?" Rosalie sneered in my direction, but didn't look at me.

"You've seen her. She isn't like she used to be. Who knows, she could have torn him apart already and went home." Her tone was mocking and rude, as always.

"Shut it, Rose! You never even _tried _to get to know her. So you have no say in how her attitude has changed. I say she has every right to be angry with us!" I yelled, staring her straight in the eyes.

She knew nothing about Bella, therefore had no right to say a damn thing about the way she is acting.

"Oh, of course you pick her side!"

I could tell that she was hurt that I was siding with someone else. But she was just so wrong in everything she said and did that there was never a chance of being on her side.

"Who do you expect me to side with? You?"

Rosalie and I had made our ways over to each other. I stood on the couch cushion to be level with her face, our noses practically touching. I could never stand Rosalie's undeserved hate toward Bella. She never even tried to act civil toward her. Now she hates her even more because Bella stood up to her. I love my sister, but she needs to change her ways before she loses everyone's respect. She is way too old to be acting like an immature teenaged girl.

"Girls! Stop it right now! This fighting is helping nothing!"

Esme was walking to us now. She actually looked angry. Rosalie opened her mouth to speak but was cut off by another voice.

"You are always so damn sorry! Here is a crazy ass idea! Stop doing shit to be sorry about!"

We were all out the door before Bella could finish her sentence. We didn't trust the way she sounded. Her voice was literally terrifying, sending cold chills down my spine. We made it to them in time to see Bella throwing her fist to Edward's chest. Her expression was purely murderous; her eyes were a burning black. Before her hand made a connection with him, black sparks shot out of her fist forming some kind of half bubble around her entire arm. The force knocked Edward off of his feet and he flew into tree after tree, turning them into nothing but splinters on the ground. I looked to my family, whose eyes were as wide as my own.

_Good, I wasn't imaging that._

**Bella's point of view:**

Anger.

That was all I could feel. My vision was clouded by a thick gray haze. All I could see were figures moving around me and the soft buzzing of voices. They were all enemies to me at this point. Everyone who got in the way of my intended target was an enemy. I felt my force field explode around me and the figures that had been surrounding me were pushed a hundred yards away. I knew who I was after. I could sense him.

My legs carried me to where he was. Before I could make it, I was thrown to the ground by various bodies. With a scream of frustration, they were all knocked away from me. They couldn't keep me from destroying the threat. I would deal with them when he was taken care of.

I felt skin underneath my fingertips and ripped right through it. There was an ear piercing scream, one that did not belong to the target I was after. The gray haze faded from my vision and I was met with a horrifying sight. My force field snapped back into place sending me to my knees.

_Oh my God._

* * *

><p><strong>Thanks for reading. Please review. They are serious inspiration! Sorry for any mistakes that I made.<strong>


	8. AN: Important

**Authors note: Important**

**I know I haven't updated my stories in awhile, but don't worry. I am not abandoning them. I have too much going on at this point to spend time on fanfiction, but I WILL come back, I promise. I know excuses are stupid, but I have quite a few.**

**One: I am lacking inspiration for all things **_**Twilight.**_

**Two: I am more into **_**Buffy: the Vampire slayer**_** as of late.**

**Three: I am studying to get my GED.**

**I know I know…**

**But I have things to do and I can't write if I am not inspired. I am NOT abandoning my stories! I am taking a break. I WILL return! Sorry about this. Stick with me!**


	9. her heart

**Okay!**

**I know I haven't updated this here story in quite a long time, but I wasn't in the mood for this story. I love it, I really do.**

**I mean it came from my skewed imagination so of course I love it. I just lost interest for a while. I still am a little iffy about this one because I don't think that it is my best work, but will continue to update whenever the mood strikes.**

**Everyone can thank my beta, 7 Ace, for me getting back into this. Truthfully, I sort of forgot about it until she mentioned it.**

* * *

><p><strong>Now I'll move onto the thanks and then the new chapter. Hopefully I still have some readers for this story.<strong>

**~jansails: It will all be cleared up in this chapter. Thanks for reading and reviewing.**

**~xSerenityIsn'tAlwaystheAnswerx: Thank you very fucking much. Sorry for the wait.**

**~Sade-Asaki eien Ni: Hey, I am completely okay with you reviewing all of my stories. That doesn't bother me one bit.**

**~JMaire: I agree 100%**

**Thanks to everyone else!**

* * *

><p><em>Anger, that was all I could feel. My vision was clouded by a thick gray haze. All I could see were figures moving around me and the soft buzzing of voices. They were all enemies to me at this point. Everyone who got in the way of my intended target was an enemy. I felt my force field explode around me and the figures that had been surrounding me were pushed a hundred yards away. I knew who I was after. I could sense him.<em>

_My legs carried me to where he was. Before I could make it, I was thrown to the ground by various bodies. With a scream of frustration, they were all knocked away from me. They couldn't keep me from destroying the threat. I would deal with them when he was taken care of._

_I felt skin underneath my fingertips and ripped right through it. There was an ear piercing scream, one that did not belong to the target I was after. The gray haze faded from my vision and I was met with a horrifying sight. My force field snapped back into place sending me to my knees._

_Oh my God._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Eight: Her Heart<strong>

**Edward's Point of View:**

"No!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, but it was already too late. Her mind was made up. Her last thoughts still ran through my head.

_'I can't let her hurt you.'_ That was the last thing she thought before Isabella let out a fierce scream and shot her hand out, breaking through her chest and pulling out her heart.

Her thoughts were silent after that. Everything was silent. Isabella's eyes shot open, the black fading from them as she took in the scene in front of her: the dead heart in her hand, the body at her feet, the wide eyes of my family staring at her.

With a small whimper, the black sparks that were forming some kind of bubble around Bella snapped back into her with such force it knocked her to her knees, the heart rolling out of her hand and onto the grass.

_How…?_

My Bella never could have done this. She never would have been able to… who is this girl? I think I have finally figured out why she wouldn't accept me back into her life. She isn't my Bella anymore. The old Bella, no matter what I did, would have welcomed me back with open arms and warm kisses. I know I wouldn't deserve it, but she wouldn't have thought of it that way. The old Bella… she was so sweet, so innocent, so loving. This Bella…well, this Bella is lost. I don't understand. What happened to her that made her this way?

I was so lost in my own selfish thoughts of Isabella Marie Swan, my high school sweetheart, that I was too late to notice him. His usual calmness was replaced with an animalistic nature as he tore his eyes away from his unmoving mate and focused them on my… on her.

In less than half a second, Jasper ran across the clearing, jumping over Emmett and Rosalie, who tried to grab at him.

Isabella looked up with wet eyes, but made no move to defend herself, which I am fairly certain she could without an issue, another thing that I failed to notice about her new self.

Jasper made another leap and tackled Bella to the ground. She did nothing but lay there, her body limp and unresponsive as my brother started tossing her around like a rag doll, sending a few punches to her sides.

I sat there, watching, shocked. I didn't know what to do.

Why isn't she fighting back? Why doesn't she just throw up her shield? Why isn't anyone doing anything? With that last question in my mind, I jumped up from my spot where I was hiding and being a coward and took off, full speed, toward the fight, intent on putting an end to it.

Before I could get a hand on Jasper or Bella, I was thrown back by the black bubble that was now around both of them. My back hit the ground, shaking it with the force. I looked up in time to see Carlisle and Esme collecting Alice's body. Carlisle cradled her heart in his palms as Esme set Alice down, away from the fight.

Carlisle tried in vain to reattach Alice's heart to her body. He knows that once the heart is out, the body shuts down. She is still alive… well, as alive as a vampire could be, but she… how could I put this? It is like a coma, but for vampires. Only there is absolutely no hope of her coming out of it. She would suffer unless we… end her completely. Burn her. I don't think that that is something any of us are ready for.

I shook my head, focusing back on Jasper and Bella. She is keeping me out on purpose. Maybe there is still some of the old Bella hidden in there. The old Bella would have thought that she deserved this. Part of me can't help but to agree with that. The other part is still fighting for her.

"Emmett!" I yelled, as I ran over to him and Rosalie.

They were hovering over Carlisle, Esme and Alice with hopeful expressions. He tore his eyes from them to glance over at me.

"I need your help," I pleaded.

I could hear it in his mind. He is torn. He wants to help Bella, but he wants Alice's killer to suffer. Again, I can't help but agree with that. I still love Bella with all of my heart, but I am not sure if the Bella I love still exists or if I could love the Bella that she has become. Maybe our love isn't as strong as I once thought it to be.

It is all too confusing for me right now. All I know is I can't let Jasper kill her. Emmett finally looked away from Alice and gave me a nod. I could see that he is still unsure if he should help Bella, even if she doesn't want it.

"Alright, what do you need me to do?"

"Help me break through her shield," I demanded with a half pleading tone to my voice.

He nodded his head and pried Rosalie off of him. Once he succeeded in that, she fell to the ground, soft whimpers leaving her. I had to drag Emmett away. I know that he should be with his mate, especially now, but I need his help and I am selfish so I am taking it.

I dragged him to one side of Bella's force field bubble thing and looked through it as Emmett started hitting it with deadly blows. I was just about to join in and help him when I saw something that made my stomach turn.

Jasper stood over Bella, the bottom of his shoe connecting with her face over and over again. Anger coursed through me and I ran to the other side of the clearing. I put all the power I could into my legs and ran back for the huge bubble around them.

My body broke right through the tough black sparks, sending electrical shocks through me. My body twitched painfully on the ground for an immeasurable amount of time.

The shocks were unexpected and I found it extremely difficult to lift myself from the ground. The only thing that pushed me hard enough to get up was the sound of her screams, Isabella's screams. My head shot up and immediately sought her out.

Emmett stood over her, holding back a growling Jasper, looking frightened as she twitched on the ground, much like I was just moments before.

I jumped to my feet as quickly as I could and stumbled my way over to them. Once there, I shoved Emmett out of my way, along with all of my fears of this new, unknown Isabella, and grabbed her by the shoulders, holding her to me.

All was silent, save for Jasper at the moment. The silence scared me to no end. I'd rather Bella be screaming her damn head off than to be so quiet with her body still convulsing so violently. I held her tighter to me, trying to calm her down some, but nothing seemed to be working.

Some sound in the distance caught my attention as I cradled Bella close to my chest. I looked away from her face to see that the rest of my family seemed a bit too busy with their own tasks to notice much of anything around them.

The sounds got closer and clearer as the seconds went by. The sound I heard was of clunky boots hitting the gravel of my driveway in the distance, and then turning in the direction of the clearing. As the footsteps got closer, so did the scent, an all too familiar scent that I remember from years ago.

* * *

><p><strong>Not that great. I am just getting back into writing for this story so it is probably messy. Review and let me know. Hopefully there are still some people reading this.<strong>


	10. EXTREMELY IMPORTANT AUTHORS NOTE!

**Extremely important authors note!**

**Hey everyone. So sorry for not updating in so long and leaving you all in suspense, but real life is way too hectic right now and writing is not one of my priorities. **

**My stories will not be completed BY ME. I am giving them away. If you want it, tell me in a review or private message. ****You can restart the whole story and change it to your liking or you can simply go on from where yours truly left off. **

**I love my stories and I really love writing but I don't have the time anymore. **

**PLEASE let me know if you want the story.**

**Thanks for all of your support and feedback and especially your never ending patience. ****I may come back one day with something new but I don't see that day anytime soon.**


End file.
